The fuck is wrong with my versions

I can identify three of me until now. I believe I might have infinity reachable versions. I can reach infinity by love. The thing is, the hardness of loving each of them and accepting the facts. Acceptance of the desires and the thoughts. I know where these three are coming from. Knowing the origin can help. What if there is none, what if my origin was nothingness. What do they mean when they guide me to be realistic when reality is fucked up. The relativity is it delusional, is it? Or am I delusional. I might be, but how do I tell, I can't be fucking sure about anything. Lacking this certainty makes me scatter as if there are infinity reality I live in.